Being a real man isn’t easy.  Most of us guys grow up never rubbing shoulders with a real man, and so we don’t really know what one looks like. We watch with awe as Clint Eastwood swears, smokes, and shoots his way through movies like Gran Torino, and we wonder if that’s what a real man looks like.  But as much as we Christian men might want to swear, smoke, and shoot, we know that that’s probably not what it looks like to be a real man.  And so we wander aimlessly through manhood trying to figure out the mystery while attempting to hide the fact that we really don’t know.

This weekend, I’ll wrap up a 24-week study of authentic, biblical manhood that I took the men of my church through this past year.  Using Robert Lewis’ The Quest for Authentic Manhood material, we discovered that in order to be authentic, biblical men (real men), four characteristics must be obvious in our lives.

1. A real man rejects passivity.

In Genesis 3 we read, “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and it was a delight to the eyes; and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.”  A lot of people think that Adam was off somewhere totally out of sight, doing what needed to be done – being a man – but that’s not the case.  Adam was standing there watching the whole event transpire.   Rather than doing something about the situation, he just stood there, and then to make matters worse, he took a bite of the apple too.  He went passive.  He absolutely failed as a man.

However, the second Adam, Jesus Christ, was a real man.  He rejected passivity. Philippians 2 says: “Jesus emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death on a cross.”

Real manhood is rejecting passivity and saying, “I’ll do it. I’ll step forward, I’ll accept responsibility at home, with my wife, with my children, in my community, at my job, and at my church.”  Real manhood is becoming like Jesus who rejected passivity and did what needed to be done when it needed to be done.

2. A real man accepts responsibility.

Yale sociologist Steven Clark made this observation as he studied the trends of humanity throughout time.  He said: “For whatever reason, men have a natural tendency to avoid social responsibility.”

In the garden, the first Adam fell into passivity and then – to some degree – passed on the tendency to shirk responsibility to every man.  But then Jesus came along and displayed a better way: the way of accepting responsibility. Jesus said that his food (his life) was to do the will of God; to accomplish His work.  And when the work became incredibly difficult to do, even then he didn’t shirk His responsibility.  Before going to the cross, He prayed: “Father, if it’s possible, let this (responsibility to die for mankind) pass from Me; Yet not as I will, but your will be done.”  Jesus accepted responsibility, and so too will a real man.

3. A real man chooses to lead courageously.

Men were created to lead, but when Adam sinned, his leadership failed as well.  Notice that Jesus led where Adam didn’t.  He set direction all through His life and called others to follow Him.  A man needs to have enough confidence, enough substance, enough weight in his life that when he’s around others, he can call them to follow him either in word or action.

Jesus had that kind of substance.  He led by example by caring for, loving, and protecting those He called to follow Him.  He said, “I am the good shepherd, and I lay down My life for My sheep.”  He also said, “I have come that you might have life, and have it abundantly.”  His words always led to action.  He did lay down His life for His followers, and He did (and does) give those He leads an abundant life full of purpose, meaning, and hope.  Jesus led courageously, and so too will a real man.

4.  A real man expects a greater reward – God’s reward.

Adam was not satisfied with the life God was promising him. Unfortunately, he thought that he was going to beat God’s best for him, and so he ate from the tree God told him not to.  Every man since him has discovered that as we try to gain something better than what God already has to give us, we always fall short.

Jesus Christ, on the other hand, knew that if He stayed the course, He would get all that God had for Him.  The writer of Hebrews implores us to “run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross and (is now sitting) down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Jesus endured a horrendous death because He expected a greater reward – God’s reward.  He looked through the difficulty of the moment and expected the reward: the joy of knowing He had accomplished His Father’s purposes for Him, eternal life for all who believe, and an eternity in glory at the right hand of His Father.  This is what motivated Him, and this is what motivates a real man as well.

So, there you have it.  A 24-week study in one quick blog!  Swearing, smoking, and shooting?  Nope!  A real man is one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward – God’s reward.