The Nerve!
- 05.04.09
- Culture, Money, Parenting, Teenagers
- 3 Comments
As you know, I have four teenagers living under my roof. Two of them are graduating from high school this month. The cost of graduating a child from high school can be measured in the thousands of dollars: books, school fees, homecoming, prom, spring break trips, multiple ACT tests, college application fees, senior pictures, graduation parties, graduation gifts, college orientation fees, etc. It all adds up, and for our family, this cost is doubled.
So, needless to say, I was shocked, angered, and overwhelmed with destructive thoughts when I saw this sign at a local car dealership last night. The nerve! How many parents who are fighting off the entitled requests of their high school graduates for a car have driven by this sign with their teen only to be attacked again with renewed vigor?
“See dad! Not only do ALL my friends have a car, but I deserve one! And look…I’m not the only one who thinks so!”
I know this dealership thinks this is a funny and creative sign, but it’s obvious that the people responsible for it don’t have teenagers. If they did, the sign would read: “Parents, don’t you deserve a car for raising your teenager? Come on in for a GREAT deal!”
I had my own car when I was a junior in high school… but only because my grandparents gave my dad a nice truck and I got the old one. Plus, there was big incentive for them because it meant I could drive my sister around to her various events…
Don’t even get me started about entitlement and high school kids. That is a really inappropriate sign anytime, but especially in an economy in which parents are struggling to pay bills, let alone buy cars. I didn’t have my own car until I bought it all by myself 6months after my college graduation. Until then, I had to (gasp!) take public transportation!
Entitlement is everywhere–but unfortunately much of it is promoted by parents. Once upon a time we had very little money and lived in a house with an essentially dry well. One day I took 25 (yes, 25) loads of laundry to the laundry mat. I was very worn by the time I finished it all. After approximately my tenth trip out the door, struggling to carry all the folded laundry out to the car, a man instructed his son to hold the door for me. The child of about ten protested and then finally reluctantly held the door. As I carried the final load out, I thanked the boy for holding the door, to which he exclaimed in incredulous outrage, “What! No Tip?” As you can imagine I “tipped” him with some words, kindly spoken, concerning his expectations. His father was as indignant as he was, having bribed his son to help me with the expectation that I would tip him. So…I have little doubt that the car dealer is merely being consistent with the values he observes in much of our nation. Recently,I spoke with a young mother in a local restaurant about some concerns she is having. Her young son was required to sit at a table nearby so that we could enjoy some privacy. He did very well as he enjoyed a cupcake and some of his mother’s food. Then he patiently waited. Before too long a couple came by the table and told him that he “deserved” some ice cream for his good behavior. The boy is eleven years old and had already been provided with treats and a drink. We are so heavily into false praise and conditionally bribed behavior that strangers think it entirely appropriate to tell a child to “make them buy you some ice cream for being so good” rather than blessing the child with a good word and supporting the mother’s parenting with a compliment. Parents who require their to children to work hard and to obey and honor them are presented with obstacles with nearly every step. God is faithful and He does not cotton with our claims of entitlement for our good. He alone is entitled to glory and honor and praise.