I’m sitting here with my family watching So You Think You Can Dance, and I’m thinking: “What would this show be like if it were called So You Think You Can Preach?“  Here are some ideas…

Premise

So You Think You Can Dance is a show that allows dancers (and wanna be dancers) to audition before a panel of judges in several major cities across the country.  The judges whittle the dancers down to 20, and then the real competition begins.  Each week, the dancers dance for votes from the television viewing audience, and the last dancer standing is labeled “America’s Favorite Dancer” and receives several perks including lots of money and national dance opportunities.

In the same way, So You Think You Can Preach would allow preachers (and wanna be preachers) to audition their preaching before a panel of judges in several big churches across the country.  Eventually, the judges would whittle the preachers down to 20, and the television viewing audience (God TV? TBN? CBN?) would then be called on to vote for their favorite.  The last preacher standing would be labeled “America’s Favorite Preacher” and would receive a cash prize along with invitations to preach at national rallies and big churches all across the country.  He would be famous but would – of course – give all the glory to God.

Judges

So You Think You Can Dance has three judges: 1) the dance veteran who’s usually pretty serious; 2) the yelling woman who once danced but has lost her step; and 3) the current dancer/choreographer who’s not afraid to say it as it is.

I envision the So You Think You Can Preach judges being 1) John MacArthur (the veteran preacher who’s often too serious for his own good); 2) Becki Tirabassi (the national speaker who’s not afraid to scream every once-in-a-while); and 3) Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill in Seattle (a nationally known “fresh” preacher who’s not afraid to say just about anything).  Guest judges would include Donald Miller (for his humor), Beth Moore (for her looks), Benny Hinn (for a ratings boost: people would watch to see what he would say or do), and Joel Osteen (for his toothy smile…chicks dig it).

Auditions

I envision So You Think You Can Preach holding preaching auditions in select big churches across the country like Willow Creek in Chicago, Saddleback in Los Angeles, Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York, Lakewood Church in Houston, New Life Church in Colorado Springs, and First Baptist Church in Orlando.

Preachers (and wanna be preachers) from all over the country would gather at these locations where they would audition with a five minute sermonette.  The judges would decide whether or not their preaching is worthy of moving them forward in the competition based on biblical accuracy, cultural relevance, humor, visuals aids, goatee shape and form, and dynamic communication skills.  If he impresses the judges, the preacher would receive a ticket to Jerusalem where the rest of the show would be filmed.

Jerusalem Week

The dancers that are good enough on So You Think You Can Dance are handed tickets to Las Vegas.  The singers that are good enough on American Idol are handed tickets to Hollywood, but the preachers that are good enough would be handed tickets to Jerusalem.  Just like with the other shows, judges would deliberate and then – if the preacher is good enough – they would scream something like, “Welcome to Jerusalem!” or “You’re going to Jerusalem!”  The preaching contestant would then jump up and down with joy (Holy Spirit joy, of course) and yell uncontrollably, “I’m going to Jerusalem!” or “I’m going to the Holy City!”

The Finale

The show’s finale will be the high point of the entire series.  Not only will the winner of the show be announced, but the show will feature cameos by world-renowned Christian personalities like Ravi Zaccarias doing a Greek translation demonstration, Todd Bentley raising someone from the dead LIVE at a south Florida morgue, George Foreman and his sons, George, George, George, and George doing a pro-family, pro-children spot, Kirk Cameron in a fireman uniform giving acting lessons, and M.C Hammer doing a rap-gospel presentation in his trademark purple parachute pants.  And just before the winner is announced, disgraced television evangelist, Bob Tilton (aka “The Farting Pastor” from YouTube who appears late at night now on BET), will give a quick seminar on how to multiply your “seed of faith” money.

I’m pretty confident that these ideas would make So You Think You Can Preach an instant hit – not only among Christian TV watchers – but among non-Christian reality TV show watchers as well.  Family-friendly, good competition, winsome celebrities, supernatural occurances, and inspirational messages.  TV can’t get much better than that!