When To Leave a Church And When NOT To
People leave churches for the craziest reasons. It happens all the time: sheep shuffle from one church to another for a myriad of reasons. As a pastor of a church where the revolving door revolves quite a bit, it deeply pains me to see people leave, and it causes me pause when people arrive having just left their church. When should people leave their church? Which of the myriad of reasons are valid, and which ones aren’t? Jason Helopoulous has organized a number of valid and invalid reasons for leaving a church in a blog posted to Kevin DeYoung’s blog about a year ago now. I think this is helpful and hopefully convicting. Here’s a brief (and condensed) look at his outline:
Good Reasons for Moving On – The Four P’s
1. Providential moving (one town to another)
2. Planting another church (you’re part of the planting team)
3. Purity has been lost (the Word is no longer preached and taught)
4. Peace of the church is in jeopardy due to my presence (you’re a hindrance to the church)
Possible Reasons for Moving On – The Three S’s
1. Spouse (unbelieving spouse will attend another church with you)
2. Special Needs (you or your family has special needs that another church can better meet)
3. Special Gifts (you’ve been asked to use your gifts at another church and can’t at yours)
Reasons Often Used Which are Insufficient
1. Children’s Ministry
2. Buzz (leaving for the “hottest” church in town at the moment)
3. Youth Group
4. Church has changed
5. New Pastor
6. I’m Not Being Ministered to
7. Music
8. There are others…
Read the whole article here.
As someone who has recently left a church I went to for almost 20 years, I can say that I would once have whole-heartedly agreed with this blog I chafe against the consumerist attitude with which many people approach church (i.e. whether or not their needs are being met in one way or another, be it in the music, children’s ministry, etc.). And I have personally witnessed the great value of sticking around through difficult and frustrating times in a church and seeing the redemption and healing that God brings when His people stay and do the work required of them. However, having just made the difficult decision to leave a church that holds not only my spiritual family, but also my entire physical family (besides my husband and son) for what, on the surface, are some of what you’ve listed as “bad” reasons, I see that it isn’t as black and white as I once thought it was.