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Clearly, we were not designed to journey alone.  Without trusted friends, we wither and sometimes die.  God created us for community and interdependence – with him and with others.  We need others.  We need their wisdom in unmasking defense mechanisms that keep the truth at bay.  Many of us can not get through a day or a relationship without falling back on rationalization, denial and blame.  And our blind spots hinder us from recognizing  how manipulative and hurtful these defenses are.  However, what we can not see is often blatantly visible to others.  Without their help and love and truth, we will never know the taste of real freedom.

Taken from the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us
by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun.

“Judge (condemn) not, that you be not judged (condemned). ² For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.  Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:1-5

Judging and condemning one another is standard operating procedure for most.  It’s an American pastime.  So, if followers of Christ are supposed to refrain from judging and condemning one another, then we need to be told how to stop.  From Jesus’ words above, I believe He gives us three very good and practical ideas on how we can stop condemning one another.

1. Recognize that to the extent we do (or don’t do) something, it will be done (or not done) to us by the Lord.

This is what I like to call the Reciprocal Principle of the Kingdom. Jesus makes it very clear in Matthew 6 that if we forgive one another, then we will be forgiven by the Lord.  If we don’t, we won’t be forgiven by Him.  In Luke 6, Jesus again shows how this principle works.  He says, “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”  Recognizing that we will be condemned by the Lord if we condemn others ought to give us good reason to stop.

2. Recognize that we are often guilty of that which we condemn others for.

Theologian John Stott profoundly says, “Human beings unhappily possess an inbred proclivity to mix ignorance of themselves with arrogance toward others.  We have a fatal tendency to exaggerate the faults of others and minimize the gravity of our own.  We seem to find it impossible, when comparing ourselves with others, to be strictly impartial and objective.”  Jesus may have been being a bit light-hearted when he used the log/speck analogy, but there’s nothing light about it.  How can we condemn others when our sin is often so much more heinous than the sin of the one we are condemning.  Recognizing this truth will go a long way in helping us to stop.

3. Recognize that our self-examination must result in mercy toward others.

Jesus says in Luke 6 that citizens of God’s Kingdom are to “be merciful even as your Father is merciful.”  How can we not be merciful to others when we begin to fathom the unfathomable amount of mercy that the Lord has poured out on us?  As we realize that the Lord loves and forgives us even in light of the huge log of sin we possess, then the speck of sin possessed by our brother or sister in the Lord suddenly doesn’t look so bad.  We may need to address his or her sin in order to bring about their restoration before the Lord, but it should be done in a spirit of gentleness and mercy.  The Apostle Paul reminds us that “if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”  Understanding the mercy we have received from the Lord ought to kill any inclination to condemn others for their sin.

So…enough with the condemnation.  Bring on November 3rd!

A few days later, I read these words from one of my Christian heroes, Dietrich Bonhoeffer:

Just as the love of God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them.  It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear.  Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render.  They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

He who can no longer listen to His brother will soon be no longer listening to God either.  This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life.  Anyone who thinks that his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother – but only for himself and for his own follies.

I’m pretty sure the Lord is asking me if I’m listening – to Him and to others.  Is He asking you the same?

Jacqulyn had been experiencing some severe pain in her back and thought she just needed the help of a chiropractor. However, the pain didn’t go away after several treatments.  It just increased.  Come to find out, the pain was caused by the cancer eating away at the bones in her lower back.  Her diagnosis was bleak.  Without treatment, the doctor told her she had 2-3 weeks to live.  With immediate and radical treatment, they offered her the possibility of a couple of years.  She and her husband, Daniel, decided to pursue the radical treatment in order to try to extend her life.

It was after the treatment began that I called her.  I didn’t know what to say, but I felt compelled (I’m pretty sure by the Lord) to offer to fly to Washington State where they now live to serve them and hopefully minister to them in the name of the Lord.  I wasn’t sure how they’d receive the offer, but to my surprise and gladness, they took me up on it!  6 days later, I was on a plane headed for East Wenatchee, Washington for a week of uncertain ministry.

While there, I do believe that the Lord used me to bring love, comfort, and peace to them, but in return, He taught me some valuable lessons that will be hard to forget.  Here are some of my initial thoughts about what the Lord taught me:

Bad things like cancer still trip up my faith.
I should know better – and I do – but knowing and feeling are sometimes distant relatives.  What I saw cancer doing to my beautiful friend, Jacqulyn, just broke my heart and made me feel a bit bewildered.  Cancer has absolutely redefined and redirected Jacqulyn and Daniel’s lives.  They moved to Washington to be closer to their kids and grandkids so that they could be active and involved in their lives, but because of the cancer, things are not going as they planned.  Jacqulyn is very sick and in a lot of pain.  Her ability to be active has been severely limited.  She wrestles with the uncertainty of the future and feels a great sense of loss for “what could have been.”  We talked often of God’s plans and purposes in our lives while I was there, and we took great comfort in His Word, but frankly, I still feel so much sadness and frustration that Jacqulyn has cancer.  Many are praying that she gets better and is able to be the active and involved wife, mother, and grandmother she had hoped to be.  Would you please join us?

The Word of God truly is alive and active.
Like I said, the three of us spent a lot of time in God’s Word together.  We started and ended each day with readings from Daily Light, and often it led to good discussions and meaningful times in prayer.  The Lord showed me firsthand how He uses His Word powerfully to bring hope, encouragement, and peace to those who needed it.  Our times in the Word were sweet, and the emotional and mental healing that the Lord brought to all of us was truly miraculous.  I was reminded again by the Lord that His Word is truly alive, active, and sharper than any double-edged sword.

The Church is alive and well – even in a small, remote farming town in Washington!
I’ve moved enough to know this, but it was such an encouragement to see this in play for my dear friends.  They were a part of my church family for many years until they moved last summer.  One of the hardest things for my church family is to know how much Daniel and Jacqulyn need right now…and to be 1800 miles away from them.  So, one of the things I was looking for when I got there was if the Christians in their town were taking care of them like we would here.  And to my great  joy and relief, I found them busy at work loving and caring for our dear friends.  Daniel and Jacqulyn have not even been there a full year, but there were meals coming in, couples coming over, and a group of women who took turns coming each morning to help Jacqulyn get up and get ready for the day.  It was beautiful!

If God calls you to do something, no matter how far-fetched or uncertain it seems…do it.
God has been teaching me more intensely over the past few years that He’s not kidding when He says that His ways are not my ways.  The things He calls upon me to do are not always things that make a whole lot of sense to me.  I was convinced that He wanted me to leave behind my family, fly four hours then drive for three more in order to spend a week with Daniel and Jacqulyn.  In my opinion, there are better people for the task.  People who really know how to cook, clean, and care.  I can sort-of do the first two (I did botch french toast while I was there), and I really want to do the third, but there are better people than me who are much closer to Daniel and Jacqulyn from my church who I thought God should tell to go before me.  But, I sensed that He was telling me to go, so I did.  And the way in which He used me there and blessed me all along the way was something I am so glad I didn’t miss.  Plus, I do recall that God put a guy in the belly of a whale for a few long, dark days for not going where He told him to go.  I try to remember that event often.  Anyway, this experience was yet another lesson for me in walking by faith and not by sight.

What is God calling you to do?

In the early 1980’s, the Bensons left the church to plant another church on the growing West Side of Albuquerque, and Ron Grenemyer became the second pastor of what is now called Foothills Fellowship. It was under Ron’s leadership that elders were put in place to provide leadership and oversight for the church, and it was also during Ron’s tenure that the constitution that we currently use was written.

In 1989, Ron and his wife JoAnn left Foothills to pursue what would become a successful career in the insurance business. A young college pastor from Arizona named Rob Kurz replaced him. (By the way, Ron Grenemyer still comes by the church occasionally to visit with me and pray for me which I find very meaningful and encouraging.)

Rob Kurz served the church for 17 years as senior pastor – which is the longest tenure of any pastor so far – and it was under his leadership that our commitment to bringing the gospel to the Muslim world in the 10/40 Window was birthed and solidified.  In the spring of 2001, we moved into our present facility on the corner of Tramway and Candelaria. We also purchased the adjacent daycare building, making it our children’s building.  I remember as our main building was beginning to take shape making fun of Rob because of the size of his office compared to everyone else’s. I called it “the racquetball court.” Little did I know that one day that office would be mine!

In 2006, Rob resigned as pastor, and by the end of that year, Michelle and I returned to the church that we had served for five years prior from 1999-2004. And this year – 2009 – Foothills Fellowship is celebrating our 35th year as a congregation.

This Sunday marks the beginning of an exciting transition in the life and history of our church as we move from our 35th year of existence into our 36th year. 35/36 is the name of an 8-week sermon series I’m beginning this Sunday, and the name 35/36 has a double meaning.

It represents a movement from our first 35 years (full of rich spiritual heritage) into our next 35 years (beginning with year 36) that – Lord willing – will begin another great run of Kingdom building and Kingdom impact as a church family.

It also represents a familiar passage of Scripture that we must NEVER forget as we move forward. Who knows what the next 35 years will hold? Who knows what year 36 (this year) will hold? No one…except for the Lord. And this is why we must cling to Proverbs 3:5 and 3:6 as a church family in the days, months, and years that lie ahead.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

There are many things pastors, elders, church leaders, and church people are tempted to place their trust in: numbers, finances, social status, facilities, number of converts, and their own thinking and empty philosophies. But as we move forward, we MUST recognize that the ONLY way we’re going to be “successful” for the Kingdom in the next 35 years (starting with this year: year 36), we must place our complete faith and trust in the Lord – and in Him alone.

If you’re a part of The Foothills family, make it a priority to be together with your church family each Sunday morning for the next 8 weeks.  And make sure not to miss this Sunday (August 2) as we’ll watch a video that chronicles the last 35 years of God’s faithfulness to us.

You may think this question isn’t very important, but it’s actually one of the most important questions a church can ask itself.

In Ephesians 5:23, Paul says that Christ is the “head” of the church.  Most church-going folks would grunt an “Amen” to that truth, but how many churches can honestly say that it’s actually Christ who’s really in charge of their church? And, if Christ were to be in charge, what would it look like?

To get the answer to that question, it requires that we understand the meaning of the word “head” in the original Greek. The Greek word is kephale, and to say that it’s meaning has been hotly contested is an understatement.  The word appears 75 times in the NT, and most of the time it is used to mean the literal head of a person or an animal.

However, there are times where kephale is used figuratively and is translated “head” as well (1 Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 1:22 and 4:15, and Colossians 1:18).  In these cases, the word translated “head” is not being used literally.  It’s being used figuratively, and when it’s being used this way, kephale (head) carries with it the meaning of “chief, ruler, or authority.”

In 1985, Bible scholar and professor at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Dr. Wayne Grudem, did a massive study on the word kephale.  He looked at 2,336 examples of its use in Greek literature – from Homer in the 8th Century BC to the church fathers in the 4th Century AD – and here’s how he summarizes his 36 page initial report and his 43 page “rebuttal to a rebuttal” in 1993:

Where the Bible says that the husband is the “head” (kephale) of the wife as Christ is the “head” (kephale) of the church (Eph. 5:23), and that the head of the woman is the man (1 Cor. 11:3), the person who is called the “head” is always the one in authority (such as the general of an army, the Roman emperor, Christ, the heads of the tribes of Israel, David as head of the nations, etc.)

So, when Paul called Christ the “head” of the church, he meant for us to understand that Christ is the chief, the ruler, and the authority over the church.  And because of this, we must allow Him to be in charge of our churches, which leads us back the question: If Christ were to be in charge of our church, what would it look like?

Allow me to suggest a couple of ways that a church would look if Christ were in charge…

1. A church with Christ in charge will take marriage very seriously and will do all that it can to build strong marriages.

John Piper says: The meaning of human marriage is based on another greater marriage designed by God in heaven before creation, namely the marriage of Christ to the church. Since this is the case, then we’d better work diligently at building up and strengthening our own marriages in order to properly represent the marriage between Christ and the church to the culture in which we live.

Pastor and author, Douglas Wilson, offers these sobering words about the connection between our marriages and the marriage between Christ and the church:

Every marriage, everywhere in the world, is a picture of Christ and the church. A husband can never stop talking about Christ and the church. If he is obedient to God, he is preaching the truth; if he does not love his wife, he is speaking apostasy and lies – but he is always talking.  If he deserts his wife, he is saying that this is the way Christ deserts His bride – a lie. If he is harsh with his wife and strikes her, he is saying that Christ is harsh with the church – another lie.  If he sleeps with another woman, he is an adulterer, and a blasphemer as well. How could Christ love someone other than His own Bride? It is astonishing how, for a few moments of pleasure, faithless men can bring themselves to slander the faithfulness of Christ in such a way.

Our marriages are meant to be pictures of the loving, faithful, nurturing, cherishing, sacrificial relationship between Christ and the church.  Therefore, a church with Christ in charge will take marriage very seriously and will do all that it can to build strong marriages.

2. A church with Christ in charge will exalt Christ in all that it does and will allow Him to have supremacy over all things.

John Calvin says:

Hence should anyone call us anywhere else than to Christ, he is empty and full of wind. Let us therefore without concern bid him farewell. The body, the church, will be in a right state if simply the head which furnishes the several members everything that they have is allowed without any hindrance to have the preeminence.

The church with Christ in charge will exalt Christ in all that it does, and its leaders will allow Him to have preeminence in all things.  In a day and age when many churches are run like businesses where decisions are made based on finances and “business sense,” and in a day and age where many churches are run like democracies where decisions are made based on the popular vote of its members, allowing Christ to be in charge is rare and radical.

Not only is it rare and radical, but its also messy.  Not being able to hide behind decisions based solely on finances or votes is scary for many church leaders.  Making decisions based upon prayer, fasting, and waiting upon the Lord can be painful and time consuming, but when Christ is in charge, church leaders use His methods for decision-making, not theirs.

3. A church with Christ in charge will submit to Christ’s headship by ordering itself according to biblical instruction.

This means that the senior pastor (and the rest of the paid staff) fully recognize that Christ is the head of the church, not them.  They serve as leaders under the authority and headship of the Lord Jesus Christ and place themselves under the watchful eyes of the other “Christ-called” elders of his church.

God has laid out a clear biblical plan for the leadership of His church through biblically qualified, called-by-Christ elders and deacons (Acts 6:1-7, 20:17-35, I Tim. 3, Titus 1).  Too many times, churches are led by warm bodies who were either elected to positions of leadership or who muscled their way to power through their strong personality, their giving record, or their availability.  In these cases, little or no consideration is given to God’s instruction and requirements for leadership in the church.  A church with Christ in charge will adhere to His instructions regarding leadership, not theirs.

So, I ask again: Who’s in charge of your church? If your answer is anyone other than “Jesus Christ,” then may God grant you the wisdom, strength, and courage to help your church make a leadership change.

When I got there, I felt like I was playing the part of an extra on the set of Cheers. As different men arrived, I watched as the others sitting around welcomed them with a wave of the hand and a hearty calling out of their name. The men engaged one another in conversations about their work, families, and other life issues, all the while enjoying their favorite cigar or pipe. The evening was filled with smoke and casual, friendly, natural conversation. Men from all different walks of life sat around and enjoyed one another’s company. As the new guy, I was immediately welcomed, and before long, I was right in the middle of the conversation.

There was a sense that these men genuinely cared for one another. There was an older man who the others respected so much so that he was allowed the best seat in the house. This man bought everyone in the room pizza. The owner offered a free cigar to another man whose business has fallen on some tough times. I met a man the others called “Rev,” who I later discovered is a fellow pastor. Even though he is “a man of the cloth,” all of the men there respect him and laugh at his goofy church jokes. It was a warm (pun intended), inviting, relaxing place where – even though all the men knew I was a pastor – I was accepted and made to feel right at home.

I really enjoyed my time there, and it got me thinking. I just completed leading the men at my church through a 24-week study on authentic manhood. We spent the last several months discussing what it means to be a real man, and while it was a good study, I’m not so sure the men really connected with one another like I had hoped. Why? I think because it was forced. There was a one-and-a-half hour window each week where men were expected to come, hear a lesson, and then share their deepest, most intimate feelings…and it really didn’t work too well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty confident that the men did get to know one another more than before, but the kind of care, concern, and camaraderie I experienced at the cigar room just wasn’t there.

Women are quick to come together and can easily move from surface issues to core issues in a matter of minutes, but men need something to gather around. They need a project, an event, a reason. And even with those things in place, men are still pretty slow to open up. I know of a man who has committed his life to the Native American men of northern Wisconsin. He has lived among them for 30 years, and in addition to preaching at a small church (attended mostly by women and children), he spends most of his time under the hood of pick-up trucks with men and in the cab of a snow plow with men. He does this in order to connect with the men of his community because few will ever grace the doors of his church.

I know of a fellow pastor in the New England area who meets with the men of his community at a local pub once a week to drink some spirits and talk about the Holy Spirit. He calls it “Pastor on Tap,” and it’s a weekly event that is even advertised in his church bulletin. Men who this pastor would otherwise have no way of connecting with at the church come for a drink and some spiritual conversation with their pastor.

So, back to the cigar room concept. I’m convinced that men do want to connect with other men, and I’m convinced that men do want to discuss intimate issues like how they feel about their marriage, their children, their job, and even their spiritual condition. They just need an environment that allows them to connect with other men in a naturally masculine way…a place where men want to come, and a place that men enjoy when they’re there. I’m not so sure sitting in a circle at church is that place.

I agree that encouraging men to hang out at a local cigar room (or even a local pub) would be a radical step for a church to take, but how serious are we about reaching the men in our church and the men in our surrounding community? I – for one – am tired of making attempts at reaching men that prove to be minimally effective at best, and I – for one – am ready to consider a more radical approach if effectiveness is the pay off.

We are a common people, each of us a fallen man
Let’s find that common ground and stop drawing lines in the sand

We are a common people, living in a common life
There are ties that bind us all when we look beyond the lines
Common people, you and I

Can’t we tear the fences down
Can’t we rip the labels off
Can we share the common ground
Instead of judging what is not

Can’t we love instead of hate
Can’t we trust instead of fear
Can we stop fighting for a moment
And feel our common tears

Is it us against them, wrong against right,
black against white, my kind your kind
There comes a time to put the argument down
and have a party on the common ground

I see a blind man on the street
He doesn’t know what I look like
So he can’t judge the man I am
Except by what he sees inside

I see a child on the street
He doesn’t know the mistakes I made
I know he takes me where I am
He sees a friend not a crusade

Lord help me live like this
Lord help me love like this

I see a brother on the other side
Of my crusade, my holy fight
I think I know where I went wrong
When I gave up love to be proved right

I saw a man die on a cross
He forgot the mistakes I made
He died for me the way I was
and He wants me to love the same

Lord help me live like this
Lord help me love like this

First, I’ve become more aware than ever before that we humans really are messed up. When God warns us about the sinful nature that resides inside of each of us, He’s not kidding. The things that I’ve heard and seen that people do to one another are disturbing to say the least. What’s worse is that often people do the most horrific things to the people they claim to love the most: their children, spouses, and other family members. Sitting in that jury room day after day and listening to one horrible case after another has renewed my understanding of the desperate need we have to be helped and healed by the Lord.

Secondly, I’ve actually regained a bit of confidence in the American judicial system. I know. I know. I’m a self-proclaimed skeptic, and skeptics aren’t supposed to be anything other than skeptical. However, this jury duty thing has made a dent in my skepticism. The job of the grand jury is basically to serve as a protection against runaway prosecutors and attorneys. The grand jury hears the charges that are being brought against people and ensures that the charges are legitimate. If they are, then the grand jury allows the attorney or prosecutor to proceed. If the grand jury decides that there is not probable cause to the charges, then they can throw the charges out…no questions asked. And, we’ve done this. We’ve heard cases where there has not been enough evidence to move forward, and so we’ve thrown the charges out, thus saving someone from being falsely accused. That feels good, and it actually is building up my confidence – just a little bit – in our judicial system.

Thirdly, I’ve learned that as bad as some people can be, there’s still a lot of good people doing good things for others. In many of the horrible testimonies that we’ve heard about the awful things that people do to others, we also hear of a hero who stepped in and helped. A neighbor. A passerby. A law enforcement officer. A family member. People whose first response was not to do evil or harm but to do good and to help. What a breath of fresh air in the midst of the muck! Even though there are a lot of people doing a lot of bad things, there are many, many more people doing good things and lending a helping hand when called upon.

Finally, I’m learning that people from different racial, economic, religious, and social backgrounds can work well together. The other 11 people on my panel are as different from me and from one another as night is from day. My panel consists of retired people, moms, a grandmother, grandfathers, a young single mom, a Nascar lover, a realtor, a hard-nosed East coaster, a New York Giants fan (boo!), a woman going through a divorce right now, a banker, a Golden Pride manager (who often brings cinnamon rolls and breakfast burritos!), and me, the pastor. In any other scenario, we would not mesh, much less spend any time together. But, we’ve been brought together to accomplish a task, and we’re doing it quite well together. We argue; we laugh; we give each other rides home; we share recipes (lots of good Mexican cooking going on at my house as a result!); we rally around the one who gets sick right in the middle of a case; and we hand each other Kleenexes when the things we’re hearing bring tears to our eyes. Some of my ideas and misconceptions about people have been challenged and are changing as a result of this experience.